Bite Back: Neato Keto

So this post is just going to be me rambling about why I haven't been posting. So if you came here for food cake porn, regular porn (Google: you're doing it wrong), click elsewhere my friends! 

Between starting school and working part time once again, volunteering for CFSW getting busier by the week, and beginning to write for the university newspaper, I haven't had the time to photograph and write about what I'm chewing on.

But, I really want to take a moment here to talk about what is also a large contributing factor to my slacking posting. I've been on the Ketogenic Diet for the past two weeks. Also known as just plain keto, it's basically eating low carb, medium protein, high fat, flipping the traditional food pyramid or dinner plate or what-have-you on its head. The theory is, when your body runs out of carbs to burn, it goes into what is called "ketosis" which means it will begin burning fat for energy.

A couple of friends and I got into a discussion about the chemistry of it all, and made the choice to take on the challenge of eating strictly keto for a month in the name of curiosity and science. Our decision was greatly helped that this is a lifestyle which encourages both bacon and cheese. 

I don't believe in diets, as they're often unrealistic. You can't live on lemon juice and cayenne pepper while sharing a special family meal or a night out with friends. If a diet interferes with your happiness and lifestyle, there is a better road to health for you. Protein bars or shakes for two meals a day is a sneak preview of hell. Weight loss ads pimping portion controlled, pre-packed meals? Cringe. So I've found something that allows me some exploration in the kitchen. However, this has drawbacks too.

One of the big drawbacks of changing how you eat is that you have to teach yourself how to cook in a new style. My kid sister was bemoaning this to me a month ago, about how she automatically wanted all the knowledge of vegan cookery to be in her brain, a big wish for a kid who used to text me begging for the finite details of making rice. Now I'm in the same boat, albeit sailing in a more bacon-y direction, in a boat made of bacon with bacon sails. (Did I mention I'm allowed to eat bacon?) Everything I'm cooking at the moment is more or less an experiment. Every time I reupholster a recipe to fit into this dietary experiment of mine, I have no idea if it's going to turn into something delicious or crash and burn in a mess of melted cheese and disappointment. Thus, I haven't been taking pictures. Thus, no blogs for you.

But, friends, I have been cooking! I've made pulled pork, cauliflower crust pizza, coconut milk chicken curry, taco salads, stuffed bell peppers, hot chocolate, peanut butter cookies, cheese souffles, espresso whipped cream... I just haven't had the time to write about any of it. Believe it or not, I try and keep a standard of decent quality on the blog, and I don't want to serve y'all some sub-par posts just for the sake of putting up content.

I swear there will be posts coming along soon! In the meantime, here's a quick recipe to tide you over:

Bacon

Serves 1

Ingredients

2-3 slices bacon

1. Put a frying pan over medium low heat. Put the slices of bacon in the pan.

2. Cook until crispy and brown, but still a little chewy. Drain the excess fat. Or don't...I won't judge. Put on a plate. Eat. Be happy.

Welcome to Bite Club.

Can I just say I am SO excited to be writing this first post? Because I am SO EXCITED TO BE WRITING THIS FIRST POST. Starting this blog has been a process of patience, design, decisions and taste testing, but here we are at last! Welcome! 

I'm torn between waxing dramatic about my hopes and dreams here or just cutting it out and getting down to the cooking. As a rule, I know that bacon conquers all, so let's get to the pots and pans instead. (Yes, keep reading and I promise you bacon.)

This dish is everything I want to serve up as a first impression. It's not too complicated but it's not too simple. It's hearty and comforting with a twist of Canadiana. Also, it has mysterious historical origins. Who invented Carbonara? Soldiers? Coal miners? Nonnas with a serious love of breakfast food? Google it, and you still won't know for sure. 

One thing most people agree on is that true carbonara sauce contains no cream. Just eggs, bacon (or pancetta), and oil, which when combined, make a silky rich sauce that coats each noodle to buttery, yolky perfection. Mine is no exception to this rule, but it does contain one special ingredient: maple syrup.

SAY WHAT? I know it sounds crazy, but let me explain.

I've been thinking about maple and pasta ever since I watched Elf this past Christmas. You know the scene where Buddy is eating spaghetti with his new family and he pours maple syrup all over it? Instead of being grossed out, or going batty and crumbling Pop Tarts onto my pasta (wtf?), I wanted a more elegant solution. Then I shoved the idea to the back of my head where algebra and other useless knick knacks hang out until I need them.

That was until I started this blog, and began the search for a unique recipe when the answer appeared right in front of my face. Here in Quebec, it is syrup season! The shelves of every grocery store are piled high with the stuff, from candies and spreads, to bottles and cans. It's maple mayhem, probably the best thing this weather has going for it, and it triggered something in my head. Are you ready for this?

Maple Bacon Carbonara
Serves • 4

Ingredients

• 2 eggs, room temperature
• 1/2 - 2/3 cup parmigiano reggiano
• 500g dried spaghetti
• 2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
• 1/2 pound bacon, sliced
• 5 cloves garlic, finely minced
• 1/2 onion, chopped
• 2/3 cup white wine
• 1/3 cup real Maple syrup
• salt & fresh ground pepper, to taste

1. In a small bowl, combine cheese and eggs. Beat well and set aside.

2. Heat oil in a large skillet on medium heat, then add the bacon. Cook until just starting to crisp, about 5 minutes. Then, add in the garlic and onion, cooking until just beginning to soften -- about 1 minute.

 
3. At this point, the pan is going to be a crackling party of oil-y, bacon-y goodness. If your conscience is bothering you, drain off some of the fat, but leave at least 3 tbsp worth left in the pan! This is what makes primo pasta sauce, people. Trust. 

4. Oh yeah, you should get your pasta going too. (I found 500g is about 1 and 1/4 boxes of pasta.) Fill a big pot with water (salt the water!) and bring it to a boil. Cook the pasta to al dente, or however long you feel like. I'm not the boss of you.
 

5. Add the wine to the bacon pan, and cook until it is reduced by half. At this point, add the maple syrup and turn the heat to low-- so it is bubbling gently, but not simmering.

6. Drain the pasta and put it in a large bowl, reserving about 1/4 of a cup of the hot water for tempering the eggs. What is tempering? Glad you asked! Here, it's the process of beating a little bit of the hot pasta water into the egg mixture, so that when we add it to the pasta, it doesn't scramble on contact. When I first made carbonara, I was freaked about this. 

If you're like me, when it comes to something with a possibility of failure, a little voice speaks up in the back of your head. If you're REALLY like me, that voice sounds like Gordon Ramsay screaming at contestants on Hell's Kitchen. Well, forget about those f-bombs, take a deep breath, and arm yourself with a fork or whisk. Beating the eggs rapidly, slowly stream the hot water into the mixture, until you're out of water. Easy. 

7. Now for part two of 'DON'T-SCRAMBLE-THE-EGGS-BECAUSE-GORDON-IS-WATCHING.' (Just kidding.) Add the egg mixture to the hot pasta bit by bit, tossing to coat quickly as you go.

 8. When this is done, you want to add the egg-y pasta into the bacon skillet and toss it until all combined.

 9. Add salt if it needs it, and lots of pepper. LOTS OF IT. Serve. Bask in the glory of maple.

It's just that easy, and just that awesome. If you don't believe me, you'll have to try it for yourself.
I cooked this one for myself and my roommate, Rebekah, who fantastically designed everything you see on the blog! It was risky, because she is not a self proclaimed 'pasta person'. However, upon trying her first bite, with me cliffhanging on her reaction, I watched her brain melt. Maple bacon-gasm. When she had finished, she even asked for a second helping.
 
If you're reading this, that means you read this post all the way through! (Or you scrolled through straight for the food porn, but whatever, I don't judge.) I can't thank you enough for checking it out in the first place!

The first rule of Bite Club is to talk about Bite Club, so if you like what you see, leave a comment, follow me on Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook or check me out on Foodgawker!